My name is Tomoko Oshiro. I'm from
Next, I introduce my family. I have father and mother and old sister and old brother and a dog. My father and mother are 51 years old and they met in high school student and they went to different college but they met again in alumni association. And they got married in their age is 21years old. And my sister is 24years old now and she has not boy friend and doesn’t want to get married. Therefore my parents are worrying about her. And my brother is 20years old he is one older then me. And he went to
2007年4月11日水曜日
Introduce Myself
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Hi Tomoyan!
Since your self-introduction is quite shy of the 150+ word target, I suggest that you develop each topic that you raise in it into a separate paragraph. That is, after you shorten first by removing your family name.
You could add a brief explanation of what and where Okinawa is, for off-shore readers of your blog. You also could expand upon your decision to enter KGU. Perhaps it would be better to use KGU as the name of the school. A spelling check of the department name is necessary, too.
Examples of American music (N., Central, or S. American), movies and the magazines that you like to read will flesh out the next part of your essay. Please spell check that part, too.
A bit more about your vision of future use(s) of English would be nice. For example, you can add a definition of what makes a good speaker of English, and what you need to do to become one.
Finally, if you still want to introduce your family, you ought to add some details - nothing too personal - about each member, for example their occupations and species. In the final version, you may find that a paragraph about family fits better with the part about where you're from, at the beginning of your essay.
Cheers.
Hi Tomoyan!
Since your self-introduction is quite shy of the 150+ word target, I suggest that you develop each topic that you raise in it into a separate paragraph. That is, after you shorten first by removing your family name.
You could add a brief explanation of what and where Okinawa is, for off-shore readers of your blog. You also could expand upon your decision to enter KGU. Perhaps it would be better to use KGU as the name of the school. A spelling check of the department name is necessary, too.
Examples of American music (N., Central, or S. American), movies and the magazines that you like to read will flesh out the next part of your essay. Please spell check that part, too.
A bit more about your vision of future use(s) of English would be nice. For example, you can add a definition of what makes a good speaker of English, and what you need to do to become one.
Finally, if you still want to introduce your family, you ought to add some details - nothing too personal - about each member, for example their occupations and species. In the final version, you may find that a paragraph about family fits better with the part about where you're from, at the beginning of your essay.
Cheers.
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